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i'm back. i should really be writing "i'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack" like everyone should be happy i'm back. i know i am. for the first time in my life i was homesick. i was homesick as soon as i got to chicago. it was the weirdest feeling ever. i've always wanted to move away. always. and once i started thinking, "i could possibly move here," i freaked out. the night before my interview i tried reading about how brave columbus was, and what an optomist he was. i thought this would inspire me, but my subconscious is unstoppable sometimes. if you've seen murials wedding, and you recall the scene she meets the coach of the guy who needs a woman get married, you'd understand how my interview went. i was murial, the interviewers were the coach and the guy. one of the interviewers looked so bored. i couldn't think on the spot, so a lot of my answers SUCKED. and my self-doubt shined through. at the end of the interview i made them laugh, but i think it might have been a polite laugh. the only accept 12 people, and out of 150 who applied, 20-40 were asked to be interviewed. i'm honored that i was asked to be interviewed, but i think only a miracle will help me get accepted. i love my relatives in chicago, but i think that they're all so lonely, that when i visit they latch onto me. and i'm such a recluse. i need alone time or i go crazy. so i went a little crazy. thank god i bought 2 radiohead cds. i swear those cds helped me more than any person could have. i saw my cousin, the one who i haven't seen in 20 years. she looks exactly like my mother, and sometimes acts like her too. but she mostly acts like a certain ex roommate of mine. it was nice seeing her, i was shocked at how much she wanted to hang out with me. she took me to a gay strip club, where the guys were actually good looking. i don't know what else to say. i guess i should say something anti-war or something. honestly, i'm so out of my old political self that i'm not really passionate about it. i don't want to wear pink and bloody shirts and go protest. but if someone asks me, i'll say "i don't believe in an eye for an eye, or an eye for an "i know you were just about to take my eye out." the one thing that bothers me a lot about this war... are you ready for this???? why is everyone pronouncing qatar, as cutter? everytime they say "cutter" on the news i think about the teenies that like to cut themselves.
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