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it has been years and still your emails drive me insane. having a great memory is a burden sometimes. i see in your emails that you have forgetten things we've talked about before. meaningless conversations, none the less, but conversations i still have to remember. i don't know what to do with myself. my intentions aren't clear till close to the end. am i trying to be someone i could never be? am i trying to anticipate a magic movie moment? all this rejection has given me tough skin. but i'd really like to shed it all now. i'd like to live like a river and not like crutches. i'd carry my memories and my fears as though they meant little attached to me, and meant more when they were washed up on somebody elses shore. |
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