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yesterday, i decided to visit hellmark¹ on a whim. i knew my old manager would be there, and i thought she would give me the cold shoulder. instead she was so happy to see me. we started talking and she told me about my old coworkers. i found out katy graduated. so i bought her a card and left it there for her. but then i started talking to my manager a bit more and she told me she had heard courtney's² brother had died.

i haven't heard from courtney since november 2001. she had a moving/halloween party. she was supposed to contact me as soon as she moved into her new place. but i never heard from her. i got really drunk at the party, i mean to a point that i gave up alcohol for awhile. so i thought the reason she never contacted me was because of how i acted at the party.

turns out her brother got diagnosed with cancer (i'm not sure what type of cancer). he was also between 18-20 years old. my manager said she thinks he died this fall. he died of pnuemonia and died the next day. i know courtney and her brother were really close. once she made her brother pick me up to go to her party, because i couldn't find a ride there. and he was perfectly happy to do it. everytime she talked about her brother or introduced him to people, she always seemed so proud of him.

i have a feeling courtney took it really really hard. my manager found out from her old roommate. the roommate said that courtney wouldn't return her phone calls or answer the phone.

i don't know courtney's new address. i can't find her parent's address in the phone book. i don't know if they moved. i really don't know how i'm going to get in touch with her. but i really feel like i need to.

after finding out this news, i had to go see the matrix with my brother. so he could drink, and i could drive home. i guess i was distracted and tired, so most of the movie annoyed me. but the highway scene was really cool.

***

^{1 - also called hallmark. where i worked for many years and have many stories from. if you have known me for many years, you know most of my hallmark stories.}

^{2 - my best friend at hallmark. she's the one i was supposed to start a rude card company with.}