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(written july 27th, 2003 on a french keyboard) i'm running on very very little sleep. i just got into paris today. i'm with my favorite cousin right now. last night was insane. here i am, the next day leaving for paris, and here is the brit who just arrived from orlando. we go out with my bff, my "cousin" (who is not really related to me, but is like my little brother), and the brits cousin who is here from mfing IRAN. there is more to the story, but in the end my bff has a very bad reaction to the pot. i had to wake the brit up to help me. we spend most of the night trying to convince her we're not the devil. she had to check our pulse. mine was a weak pulse, to complicate things more. the brit said, "look at returnsender she cant be the devil, she's more like a carebear." we went on about the eighties and then my bff thought we were taking her back to her childhood as a form of mind control. so we had to stop. the night wasnt all bad. the brit sang love songs to me and kissed my cheek. he loves vanilla sky. i am falling for him hard again. i cried by myself at the airport. i will probably see him thursday. i think i might tell him. or do the love letter crap thing like a wuss. his sister asked me to convince him to do something, because "he listens to me." he wants to set me up with one of his friends. he misses his ex. we all carry so much baggage around. i wonder if i should just wait till another life when were both cats. i'm great with people. i can convince many that i'm friend worthy. it's the love life thing that i suck at. to all of you that are good at it, i give props. because it all just seems too hard. maybe if i tell him i might be set free from all the baggage i've let myself carry all these years.
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